I’ve been living in my childhood hometown for the past year and a half now, and while there are some definite perks to the wine country lifestyle, I’ve known for months that it is time for me to move on- at least for now. Although I could write a farewell love letter to the town of Sonoma, it is definitely not goodbye, but see you soon.
It has been surprisingly hard to find the words to share this news with the world. Am I excited? Yes. Am I terrified? Also yes. I'm excited at the openness of a blank slate and terrified that if I'm actually honest about how excited I am, that somehow I'll fail before I even start. Does that make any sense? No, of course not. But for whatever reason, when you really lay out your hopes and dreams and aspirations on the table for all to see, they become more real- and failure becomes a reality as well.
It is somehow still surreal even after saying it- maybe because I have barely started packing- but I sort of can't believe that I'm actually doing this. I've been talking about moving for months. First, I thought I was going to New York City, then I thought maybe back to San Francisco. Los Angeles never even occurred to me until one of my best friends sent a text to our group chat saying she was going to be needing a roommate in her Santa Monica apartment. And yet, here I am. Headed to La La Land in just a week and a half's time.
I'm the type of person that really likes to have a plan. I like to know how I'm getting from point A to B, how long it will take me to get there, and what obstacles I'll run into along the way. I also like to know whether point B is where I'm supposed to be headed. Because if I'm really supposed to be moving toward point C, I'd like to know before I get all the way to B, you know?
Of course, life doesn't work that way 99% of the time. And retrospectively, I can say that most of the best things in my life have happened when there hasn't been a plan at all. Or, when they actually went completely opposite to my plans. So with that in mind, I'm trying to approach this with perseverance, a little stubbornness (because it wouldn't be me if I didn't), and a lot of faith. The beautiful thing is that it seems to me that is what LA is built off of. Even though I'm not trying to be a movie star, it is so fitting that I'm headed to the city where so many people go to "make it". Who knows what that will really mean for me, or what point A, B, or C might end up being in the grand scheme of things, but I plan on having a hell of an adventure trying to figure it out. See you soon, Santa Monica!